Writing+Tips

Don’t use the passive voice. Use active verbs instead of “to be”: “this study was initiated” > “we initiated this study”

Make sentences concise. From EMA: “Avoid long sentences. Use simple words, and avoid obscure words. With each sentence think of what words can be omitted without losing meaning. For example: ‘In previous studies nitrous oxide has been shown to increase the risk of vomiting’ versus ‘nitrous oxide increases the risk of vomiting’.”

Avoid repeating structure or grammar that is not purposeful.

Place modifiers next to the words they modify: “He only found two mistakes.” > “He found only two mistakes.”

Be concise. Don’t use redundant adjectives and adverbs. “major breakthrough” > “breakthrough”

Throw out any sentence that does not flow logically from the previous one, lead logically to the next one, or sound right.

If a sentence sounds bad when read out loud, get rid of it and write a new one.

Remove redundancy.

Don’t overuse prepositional phrases. They promote rambling. “Some people, especially those with a previous background in business” > “Some people, especially those with a previous business background”

Avoid trailing modifiers. End sentences with a punch: “leaving nothing but the memory of sound ringing brightly” > “leaving nothing but the memory of bright sound.”

Connect ideas in a way that makes their relationship clear: “Sales fell short, and we abandoned the project.” > “Once sales fell short, we abandoned the project.”

Choose good words Be specific Avoid academic jargon–speak clearly Participants = patients, children, parents? Meant to=we did not Write strong, complex sentences Parallel sentences = compare/contrast, criterion/variant “People in the dual-task condition monitored a series of beeps while reading a list of words. People in the control condition read a list of words.” “Everyone viewed a set of 20 pictures. In the control condition, people merely viewed the pictures. In the evaluation condition, people rated how much they liked each picture.”

Use a **semi-colon** to connect related phrases. It implies a sense of balance and comparison. Semi-colons should connect 2 complete sentences that are closely related. “At Time 1, people read the words; at Time 2, they tried to remember as many words as possible.”

A **colon** signals that what comes next is directly related to the previous sentence. Use a colon when you could use the word "namely". Only use a colon after a complete sentence, put one space after a colon, and don't capitalize the first word after a colon. A colon can also be used to introduce a list of items. "The bookstore specializes in three subjects: art, architecture, and graphic design."

Avoid “Such that” “People were assigned to groups such that the assignment process was random.” > “People were randomly assigned to groups.”

Use Active Voice. Passive voice hides the subject.

Replace “to be” with the actual verb. To be reflective of = to reflect To be supportive of = to support

Start sentence with the subject or action

Avoid “however,” percentages and numbers

“That/which” can be eliminated 90% of the time “The sentence we talked about in the first exercise that we gave as an example is too wordy.” becomes “The sentence we discussed in the first example is too wordy.”

“This/that/these/those” “For clarity, avoid using this and that. Repeat the concept or the idea to which the words refer. This will ensure clarity.” “For clarity, avoid using this and that. Repeat the concept or the idea to which the words refer. Repeating will ensure clarity.”

Is/was/will be “The decision was made by the president of the organization.” “The president of the organization decided...”

Words ending in “-tion” and “-ment” “During the evaluation of the reading program, frustration and disappointment were detected among program personnel, whereas during the program’s development...” “When evaluating the reading program, evaluators met staff who felt frustrated and disappointed. When staff were developing the program..”

Expect to edit something 5-6 times.

Think before you write so you have something to say.

Write in 2 hour chunks

Simulate isolation of a plane ride

WRITING FOR A MEDICAL JOURNAL Avoid writing “Brown et al found that…” Either just state the finding and reference the paper or use “Brown and colleagues”. Do not reference review articles. Find the paper with the original data and reference that. Use the term “children” or “subjects” instead of “patients”, as this is a scientific study and not a medical care document.

Ellen’s tips for discussion section: First paragraph says “this was my question and this is how I answered it”. Next, pick roughly 3 other findings that were interesting from the study and discuss them in light of current knowledge. Then limitations.

References:
 * 1) Acknowledge previous research in the field
 * 2) position new research in relation to previous publications
 * 3) present primary data to support the writer's claim

**Over-referencing** occurs when references are given to facts that can be seen as common knowledge; if readers to whom the text is directed can be expected to know a general fact that is being stated in the text, no reference is needed.

The Introduction is a Funnel and the Discussion is a Hamburger